Drunken streetwalker, Sabbath Hawks, fell out of boxcar outside of a nearby, dry county when she met the traveling salesman, Lamont Boles. He was out on bail for mysterious charges involving a small ectotherm and a brass quartet, the records for which have mysteriously disappeared, when they decided to devise their master stroke: hoodwink the corrupt Reverend Thurgood Calhoun to plunder his spoils.

Disguised in choir robes, Lily picked the locks with her hat pins. The hungover duo infiltrated his holy hidey-hole only to find Calhoun's illegal still and an evil, underground nun-brothel. In a fit of fury, Sabbath Hawks flew at the altar and subdued Calhoun using only his clerical collar and a strategic spray of holy water, but was knocked unconscious by a sinister raven that careened from an organ pipe.

Meanwhile, Lamont had surreptitiously descended back into the nun dungeon. Unable to resist the sirens, things seemed mildly grim for Lamont until his trusty she-wolf burst in the church and began to rend his appendages. Regaining his senses, Lamont donned the collar and commanded the zombie nun whores.

The she-wolf had graciously begun to thrash Lily's feet to rouse her when Lamont entered with a trail of hypnotized harlots. Bruised and blood-soaked, the pair proclaimed Lamont the new fraudulent Reverend and they vowed to empty the still and bring in as much cash as possible to make their getaway.

Before they left, they saved the town with their zombie army by serving the whisky to every citizen ending toothaches, temporary insomnia, 8 people's virginity, 2 marriages, and those horrible potholes on Burgundy St. They then formed a band. The Royal Tinfoil...